Have you ever heard that whoever cares the least in a relationship has the most power?
Let me save you some suffering and aggravation…
Women have been trying this strategy for years. Holding back on their feelings and waiting for him to go first. Convinced that playing it cool and hiding how you really feel will put you in the power position and protect you from appearing desperate.
That waiting for him to share how he feels first will guarantee that he really means it, and it will keep you from getting your heart broken. This saves you from saying “I love you” first and him not enthusiastically reciprocating. I mean, that’s what they tell you, right?
But what really happens? Well, here’s a real life example…
I just got off the phone with a woman who is very successful. She owns her own business, has traveled the world. Makes great money and has lots of friends.
And even though her life looks great on the outside, the truth is she’s playing a dangerous game by following this myth.
She said she is withholding her big feelings in her relationship.
In fact, she said, “He has to say I love you first so I have the power.”
But here is where this all falls apart…
She admitted she’s in the best relationship of her life and wants to marry this man and start a family, and like most women she doesn’t want to waste time on a relationship with no future so she has set a deadline of 6 months. And if he does not say he loves her by then she is moving on.
Problem is they are 4 1/2 months into their relationship and the clock is ticking.
She is freaking out. Anxious all the time. Desperately wanting to tell him the truth of how she feels, but terrified she will become powerless in the relationship if she does. Hiding her true emotions is exhausting her.
She is trapped by her conflicting wills. One portion of her Will really wants to marry this man and start a family, but another part of her Will equally fears it – “I don’t want to lose my power, my independence, or get my heart broken”.
But you can’t create from conflicting wills. You are literally fighting yourself.
Clearly, by playing this game of withholding her big feelings, what she was trying to avoid has come true…she is now powerless in her relationship. And she is trapped in a living Hell of her own creation.
The truth is it doesn’t have to be this way.
While most women are struggling with conflicting Wills and wrestling with expressing their feelings, a handful of smart, successful women have mastered aligning their Wills and are creating stable partnerships with real men who love, adore and openly share their emotions.
Imagine how it would be to feel confident and excited to express how you feel to your partner, without the fear of losing power or of him not receiving it well.
The women I mentor learn how to own their feelings and express them with the confidence and clarity it takes to never feel embarrassed or betrayed by their emotions again. And as a result they can relax into their heart and open to their emotions even if their heart has been closed off for years. This is what standing in your power is all about.
It is easy to tell if you have conflicting wills. They are present whenever you have something you want to happen, that you have been working on but it still isn’t happening.
- If you’re trying to date but keep attracting the wrong guys, we need to talk.
- If you get the dates but none of them turn into lasting relationships, we need to talk.
- If you sick and tired of having no success in finding a great partner to share your life with, we need to talk.
If you’ve decided it’s time to find your true partner and start building memories and sharing your life with him now, and your committed to removing your conflicting Wills once and for all, then sign up for a free Breakthrough to Partnership call.
We’ll get clear on what needs to happen to get out of your own way and onto the fast track to true partnership now.
Times are limited. Click here to schedule your call now!