Have you ever been told that in order to find a quality man you need to be on the lookout for the kind of man you don’t want so you can avoid picking the wrong guy and wasting precious time on a dead end relationship?
Let me save you a great deal of frustration and struggle.
As logical as this strategy may sound at first, this approach will actually put you on the longest and slowest possible path to finding a true partner.
Allow me to illustrate…
Imagine you go to a nice restaurant and when the waiter comes over to ask what you would like to eat, you start telling him all the things you DO NOT want to eat.
“I don’t want a salad.”
“I don’t want any red meat.”
“I don’t want anything fried”…and on and on.
You would never do this because it is clearly the longest possible way to order dinner, right?
Well chances are you are doing this exact thing when looking for a man to share your life with.
I’ve lost count of all the women I have spoken with over the past 20 years who, when I ask them what they are looking for in an ideal partner, they start reeling off all the things they don’t want.
“I don’t want a man who is emotionally unavailable.”
“I don’t want a man who is a poor communicator.”
“I don’t want a man who is financially unstable”…and so on.
And the worst part is you’ve become so programed to approach dating this way that you don’t even realize you are doing it. You’re so used to focusing on what you don’t want it has become your default. It just seems normal.
They told you that by watching out for what you don’t want it will lead you to your perfect man. Kind of like process of elimination on a test. By eliminating the possible answers you know are not correct, it will reveal the correct answer.
But what has really happened?
This strategy has led you to an endless stream of men alright…but they were all either emotionally unavailable, couldn’t hold a meaningful conversation, broke or some other relationship dooming trait that you could not stand. WTF!
Not only that, this focus on avoiding what you don’t want in a guy did not keep you from getting into relationships with exactly who you were trying to avoid over and over again.
Why? Because when you keep attracting men with characteristics you are trying to avoid you will eventually start to think that something is better than nothing and settle.
So what would happen if you stopped avoiding what you don’t want…and started putting all your energy into what you do want instead?
First you’ll get back all the energy you are currently throwing away by worrying you”ll attract another guy you don’t want. This empowers you to apply this energy into creating the kind of true partnership you have always wanted. And while you”re doing this, you’ll feel more excited, confident and relaxed than you have in years.
Who knows, you could be like Leyea who emailed me recently to say –
“You were so right! After applying what you taught me to stop avoiding what I didn’t want in a man, I had plenty of quality men to choose from. But THEN!!!! I met the kind, brilliant, goofy, fun, joyful, loving man of my dreams. All this without having to settle, play games or be someone I’m not. Thanks for all of your help.“
I know this may sound like an easy shift to make, but let’s face it, if it was that easy you would have already done it. But you don’t have to stay trapped in avoidance mode.
If you are committed to doing what it takes to upgrade your default avoiding programs in order to get on the fast track to finding the ideal man to share the rest of your life with, then click here and schedule a free Breakthrough to Partnership call with me. We’ll come up with a clear plan so you can be the next woman sending me an email to tell me you’ve found the man of your dreams.